How Can I Protect My Children on the Internet?

As computers become as commonplace as televisions in homes, parents must come to terms with how to best regulate the consumption of a resource that contains more information at the click of a mouse button than ever before imaginable. Sometimes the computer is alien to the parent and all too familiar to the child, making the parent feel threatened or out of control. This situation makes it possible for tabloid sensationalism and plain old bad reporting to plant false or half-truth ideas of understandings of the Internet in the minds of the well meaning parent.

The first thing to remember is that the "dangers" that exist on the Internet are nothing new. The "dangers" have exact parallels in "real life." Children can come into contact with strangers on the Internet, just as they can in real life. Children will come into contact with information the parent may feel they aren't ready for, just like in real life. The Internet simply provides a modern day version of the traditional issues.

The best ways to protect your child as they venture into cyberspace is to become familiar with the computer yourself, and to simply teach your child that the personal safety lessons you teach about "real life" apply to situations on the Internet. Teaching children that the net is another facet of life, instead of some "unreal life" that's a game will help them to both better utilize the net and remain safe while utilizing it.

Explain to your children that people they do not know well, and do not know in person, should be considered "strangers." It's okay to talk to people on the net that they do not know in the hopes of making new friends, but they should be very careful to not reveal a lot of personal information. They should immediately stop conversing with anyone who tries to get them to talk about things which make them uncomfortable, or who asks them to do things such as meet them in person. Instruct the child to save any messages that make them feel uncomfortable an to tell the parent about them immediately. The parent should then look at the material, and if suitable respond to the individual asking that they cease and desist, and if appropriate send a complaint to the system administration at the offender's site. To do this you can send mail to postmaster, admin, abuse or root at the site in question. If bob@some.net is sending inappropriate material to you or your child, you would send a complaint to postmaster@some.net, admin@some.net, abuse@some.net and root@some.net (note that one or more of these addresses may bounce back; but ONE of these addresses should get through to the proper people).

People, children and adults alike, tend to feel that when something is online, it deserve instant credibility. I assure you any individual can sit in their basement and design a web site that is just as stylish, attractive and apparently legitimate as multi-million dollar companies. Don't automatically lend credibility to something just because it's on the net. Treat the information the same was as you would if it were tacked up to a bulletin board. You'd want to know who wrote it, who supported or paid for the writing of the material, is it a conflict of interst, is itself serving, etc.

Avoid placing the computer in your child's room. This makes unchecked usage possible. As an adult I find that often I spend more time on the computer than I really should in terms of allowing proper time to partake of everything else in life... I can't imagine what I would have been like as a child had the Internet been as developed as it is today. As it was I spent hours and hours on the local bulletin boards which in terms of offerings paled in comparison to what one can find online today.

While the computer is a wonderful resource, treat it like any other activity including tv; beware of allowing a child to fixate on it and devote more and more time to it. Also judge this based on what the child is doing while they are online. If they are just reading about the latest Nintendo games, that's probably not as valuable as participating in an online group for young writers or budding scientists or what not.

Editor's Note: Don't get me wrong, I love my N64...

Use the computer together in your household. Share good information that you find on the Internet, and assist your child in using it for both academic purposes and recreational purposes.

Most adults are concerned about the information that they feel isn't appropriate for children suddenly being thrust onto the screen, scaring some unsuspecting child for life. It's very unlikely that this will happen. As an adult who uses the web every day, such material isn't come upon by accident while one searches for the unabridged Webster's online dictionary.

The information is out there, without a doubt. However, a child old enough to search for such information is also probably looking for sex ed books in the public library and sneaking peeks at the magazine pile in the back of your closet. (You thought they didn't know about that pile, didn't you?)

Having been a child not too long ago (don't hold that against me) I can say that hiding or witholding information from a child often doesn't work. It simply makes the child unprepared should they come into contact with the information. My parents did not seem to keep any adult material in the house when I was a child. No problem, I simply spent afternoons over at my neighbors house where she and I spent hours looking through her father's stacks of Penthouse that he kept in the garage (yes, girls do this too). Again, a child old enough to know the information is out there will find a way to get exposure to it.

When a child is old enough it's best to acknowledge that such material exists, explain why it isn't appropriate and let your child ask any questions they may have, so they can perhaps understand better and not be lured by the great temptation of the unknown or, worse, the banned.

In addition to communication and sharing, you can enable a number of software based solutions which will restrict the content people can view on your machine. Some online services such as America Online offer ways to limit and control how an account is used. Speak with your Internet Service provider for any available services they have for controlling content.

Microsoft's Internet Explorer 4.0 has a form of content restriction build right in. It's called the Content Advisor, and you can access it by selecting Internet Options from the View menu, then clicking on the Content tab. You can find more information about the Content Advisor by going to the Help menu and selecting Contents and Index and searching on Content Advisor.

Surf-Watch is a piece of software that plays companion to your web browser and blocks access to sites based on content. Surf-Watch claims to filter access to sites containing sexually explicit content, references to drugs and alcohol, gambling, violence or hate speech. It does not remove material from the Internet; it simply uses a wide set of filters to restrict access to sites that have made their hit list as being inappropriate. Visit their site for more information.

Cyber Patrol is another piece of software that filters content but also allows the parent to restrict time spent online and monitor activities performed while online.

The list of cutesy names goes on with Net Nanny. Another piece of software with a diverse set of options allowing you to both screen content and monitor activity on your computer.

You also have CyberSitter, a program that uses a filtering engine to decide whether a site is appropriate or not based on the content in the site. Some programs only restrict access when a site is on their banned list... or worse they use this system and then charge you for routine updates so you can block the hundreds of web pages added every day that may be inappropriate for your child.

Most of these products have downloadable trial versions on their web sites as well as thorough information about what their product does and how.

With the commonality of computers in the world today parents need to be cautioned to not look at a filtering program as a cure. For the child can probably go next door and get online with a friend or use a public computer at the library to get access to information that is restricted at home.

A good solution is to educate your children well on how to use and treat the Internet and the social situations is can present, to monitor and participate in your child's Internet usage so you both can learn (and so your child will know that you'll be aware of what's up when the hard drive is full of 250 megabytes of jpeg files stored in a folder hidden inside the DOS directory), restrict online time and, in addition, use a filtering program.

Like most things in life, a complex issue requires a complex solution.